A Stranger Returns
by Tauna Petit-Strawn
Summary: A what if I got off the episode "A Stranger Passed This Way", mainly what if the Vandervorts had already been in the process of moving when they found Hoss? Genre always subject to change. Little Joe and Candy will also make appearances in the story.
1. Chapter 1

*A what if I got off "A Stranger Passed This Way"…mainly, what if the Vandervorts had started to move before they found Hoss?

**Prologue**

The hot blazing sun beat down upon the lone traveler unmercifully. What did it care if his father and brothers were waiting for him, waiting for him to come back home? What did it care that he had been bushwhacked, knocked unconscious and then left to die? What did it care that the man had come to only to find himself confused; his thoughts unorganized. The sun didn't care, but two lone figures sitting off in the distance did.

"Who do you think he is, papa?" Christina Vandervort turned and looked at her husband, Klaas. The couple was moving back to Michigan after living in the west for a number of years.

Klaas did not answer his wife of more than thirty years, as he leaned forward trying to figure out if he should know the man they could see struggling to stay upright. But, they were too far away. If he wanted to see if he recognized the man, they would have to get closer. "I don't know, mama, but I'd say he needs help." He said as he pushed their horses forward. By the time they got to the man...who Klaas quickly realized he did not know... he was laying upon his back on the dirt road on which he'd been walking… and was unconscious.

**Chapter One**

**TEN YEARS LATER**

The music rose up and spread over the front yard, as Ben walked out of the house laughing and talking with Adam. The yard was filled with friends and family helping celebrate the marriage of one of their long time ranch hands, Candy Canaday. The trustworthy employee had just married a black haired beauty by the name of Miranda Jensen. They could see the groom and his bride laughing and talking with Little Joe and his wife, Alice. Little Joe and Alice had been married eight years and had four children. Adam's wife of seven years, a brown haired, brown eyed woman by the name of Laura Ann could be seen talking to a few of their guests while their children played nearby.

Everything would have been all right except a few of the young children who did not know any better started playing around and one of them accidently called a nearby horse 'hoss'. No one was surprised by the pained look that came into Ben's eyes as he quickly came up with a reason to go back inside. Adam turned and followed his father.

Once inside Adam found his father standing in front of the empty fireplace, looking at nothing in particular. Since he and Laura Ann had buried an infant son a few years before, Adam knew all too well the pain his father was in at the moment; it didn't matter that it had been ten years since Hoss had disappeared without a trace. If only they knew what had happened to Hoss, his father would have had some closure on the subject. "Are you all right?" Adam asked slowly, concerned he'd upset his father if he wasn't careful with his words.

Ben sighed and took a deep breath. "Most days I'm fine; really," he said as he turned his head and looked at his oldest, "but once in a great while it still hurts." He turned back to the fireplace and his voice grew a bit hard. "I want to know what happened to him." Knowing that his son would never purposely stay away, he and his family had accepted that Hoss had died years ago; still, the not knowing how or when still got to all of them at times. "I want to know he didn't suffer long…that…" Ben's voice broke as he hung his head, doing his best to get a hold of himself. He did not want to ruin Candy's special day.

Adam laid his hand on his father's shoulder, gave it a squeeze but said nothing. What could he say? He wanted to know the same thing, but the past held all the answers…and there was no one with the key to that part of life. Only when Little Joe entered the house did the two stop talking.

"Are you all right?" Little Joe asked, then wondered as Ben and Adam looked at each other and laughed.

"I'm fine. I thought you were with your wife and the happy couple." Ben said as he stepped away from the fire place.

Little Joe nodded. "I was, but Miles Anders just showed up. He asked me to tell you that he has a buyer for that land that Paul Hill wanted us to sell for him and told me to give you this." Little Joe handed his father an envelope their friend of five years had given to him, still thinking they should have left the selling of the land to the old man. Then again, their long time friend had never been very good at handling any sort of business.

Ben took the small envelope from his youngest son and looked at it. On the top of the top left hand corner was some pretty fancy handwriting that read _Mr. and Mrs. Frederick Vandervort Holland, Michigan. _

For a moment, Ben thought about opening it up and reading it. However, the reception was still going full swing, and he knew he needed to rejoin the celebration. "I'll look at it in the morning." Ben walked over to his desk and tossed the letter down on his desk. He then excused himself and went back outside, leaving Adam and Little Joe to talk.

"Is he really all right?" Little Joe had left the party once Ben disappeared into the house. He hadn't seen his father so unsettled for ages and he didn't like it.

"I don't think that it's ever all right," Adam answered as he thought on his own departed son, "the pain of losing Hoss isn't near as sharp as it used to be. However," Adam sighed, "I don't think pa, or any of us, will ever stop wondering and that's what hit pa hard tonight." Adam then shook off the melancholy feeling that had come over him and insisted that he and his brother rejoin their families and the celebration.


	2. A bit of a shock

**Chapter Two **

Ben sat behind his desk with the letter he'd been handed earlier. Adam's sons, five year old Adam Jr. and his brother, three year old, Thomas, were in the living room. Adam Jr. was learning to read. Thomas sat in the middle of the room playing with some blocks. Ben could hear Adam's step-daughters, eleven year old Tabitha and nine year old, Kristine; they were upstairs. When Adam walked in the house, Ben looked up from the letter.

If his father didn't look so shaken up, Adam wouldn't have thought anything of the paper his father held in his hands. As it was, he lengthened his stride and hurried over to his father's work area. "What is it, Pa?"

Ben took a deep breath and handed the letter to Adam. "Maybe nothing," he said, as he leaned back in his chair once Adam had the paper in his hands, "maybe everything."

Adam started reading the letter. Dear Mr. Cartwright, My name is Mary Wagoner Vandervort. My husband, Fredrick, has asked me to write as I have easier time putting my words onto paper. At first it looked to simply be a letter of introduction by Mrs. Vandervort, which it was.

_My husband I have been told to contact you if we wished to purchase a parcel of land that is for sale. I am told you are a wise man and would negotiate a fair deal, upon a formal introduction and a little knowledge of our backgrounds._

Only, as he continued reading, Adam felt shock waves go through him as he read:

_You should know up front, Frederick Vandervort is not my husband's real name. The truth is, we do not have it, nor do we have any of his past. My husband suffered an injury ten years ago…Klaas and Christina Vandervort took him in….large man, two hundred eighty pounds, thin hair…some might say he's on the slow side; though that is not the case, he just has an appreciation for simplicity. He has a heart of gold…Therefore it is unfortunate that I cannot legally a test to his background, but references from our lawyers would guarantee our good will and honesty._

Upon reading this section of the letter, Adam sat down on a chair that sat off to the side of his father's desk; his own face paling a bit.

Seeing his father's face pale, five year old Adam Jr. put down his book, climbed off the blue chair his father used when they were staying at his grandfather's house and ran over to Adam. "Pa?" Adam Jr. put his hands on his father's knee and looked up with concerned filled eyes. "Are you okay?" When Adam said nothing, Adam Jr. turned and yelled, "MA!" That snapped Adam out of it and he laid the letter down upon Ben's desk and looked down at his son.

"I'm fine, son." Adam gave his son's hand a small squeeze. The action calmed his son down, but his wife who had been in the kitchen had still hurried out of the kitchen to see what her oldest child was yelling about. It didn't take someone with a high I.Q. to see that both her father in law and husband had had some sort of shock.

"Go play up in your room son, and tell your sisters to stay in their room until I come up." Laura Ann laid her hands upon the back of her son's shoulders and gently moved him away from his father. Adam Jr. would have argued only his grandfather's eyes still held a lot of pain in them…and he didn't know what to think about the look that once again appeared in his father's. That being the case, he hurried up the stairs and id as he was told.

Once Adam Jr. had disappeared Laura Ann turned to her husband and father in law. Before she could say anything, Adam was on his feet and standing over by the window.

"What is going on?" Laura Ann looked from her husband to her father in law; they were scaring her. She didn't like being scared.

"There's a chance that Frederick Vandervort and Hoss are the same person." Adam answered as he turned away from the window and saw his father with the letter in his hand once more, but saying nothing.

Hoss? Laura Ann felt shock waves go through her as she thought on the brother in law she'd never known, the one whom Adam had still been grieving for when they met. Those early days of their relationship had not be easy, as Adam's moods had swung back and forth quite badly only, over time, he had worked through the grief and she'd been at his side the whole time. Now they were telling her they thought the brother they'd assumed dead all these years just might be alive? "You'd best tell me the whole story." She pulled the chair that Adam had been using and sat down.

**~oOo~ **

"Frederick!" Mary, who had been busy packing since receiving a letter from Ben Cartwright; one in which he agreed to sell them the land they'd inquired about, turned around and playfully slapped her husband of five years. He'd just walked up behind her and gently jabbed his fingers into her sides. "You're lucky I didn't swing around and hit you with my fist. You know better than that!" It was a statement that only met with laughter, as her husband wrapped his arms around her and waist and pulled her to him.

"I keep forgettin'?" Frederick laughed and then grew serious. "I never thanked ya for not arguin' bout' moving back out west." He had been so nervous when he'd approached her with the idea; he was sure she was going to fight him on it. After all, Holland, Michigan, had been her home since the day she was born. That and he thought she might just tell him he was only running away from the pain of losing the couple who had become like parents to him. They had taken him in when he'd awoke with no memory. What he was unaware of was that, due to the many conversations she'd had with Klaas before the old man had died, Mary had actually been trying to think of a way to approach her husband with the idea of moving back to Nevada when he approached her instead.

"Don't worry about it. Besides," she said as she let out a sigh, "It's not like we'll have to worry about dealing with any children as we make the move."

Frederick pulled his wife to him and held her close. He knew how badly she wanted a child as he too longed for the same thing. Only what could he do? Life had been cruel when it came to that aspect of life and had withheld that blessing from them so far. "We don't have ta have children fer me to love ya." Frederick ran his hands up her back, leaned over, and traced her cheek with his mouth. It didn't take long for him to pick Mary up and carried her into the bedroom they'd shared since they first married. The packing would just have to wait.


	3. Past Memories and What Now?

**Chapter Three **

The sound of their wagons wheels making one round after another was, for the most part, the only sound Mary Vandervort could hear as her husband drove the wagon along the dirt road. They had left their home in Holland, Michigan and traveled along for close to two and a half months without any too many problems. They had finally reached the territory of Utah. With any luck, they'd be on the land which they were buying within the month. Tired, Mary rested her head against her husband's upper arm and let her mind wander back through time.

_Mary was standing on her father's porch when she saw them, a couple driving a wagon with the biggest man Mary had ever seen riding on a horse alongside the couple's wagon. As the wagon pulled to a stop, her father came out of the house and, upon taking one look at their visitor, practically flew down the steps and cried out, "KLAAS! CHRISTINA! It's about time the two of you came back!" _

_While the Vandervorts and her father, Mary Wagoner, was watching Hoss as he dismounted his horse; her father had just invited the Vandervorts to stay and eat a bit of lunch with them. She didn't realize she'd been staring at the man, until he tipped his hat and smiled from ear to ear. "Howdy, ma'am," _

Mary wrapped her arms around her husband's arm and smiled as she held on tight. When she did that, Frederick glanced down at his wife. "Is everythin' okay?" He didn't like the idea that there might be something bothering his wife. He would rather deal with broken wagon wheels and leaky canvas, which he'd done more than once since they'd started their journey, than to watch his wife worry or suffer in anyway…something he had seen happen a few times in the five years they'd been married.

"Don't worry about me, Fredrick." Mary smiled and told him where her mind had been. That brought a smile to his face as he recalled the same day, and the ones following it. They'd been filled with long walks, picnics and a lot of talks. His mind stopped on the day they'd first kissed, the day they'd had a heart to heart talk about his amnesia.

"_It doesn't matter, Fredrick." Mary stood next to Fredrick and looked at the pond her father had built upon their land. "I mean, I know you'd like to know and, I admit, so would I. It's just that," she turned to face him and started running her hands up the front of him, "I don't care what your name is or what your past is. It's you I care about." _

_By the time she was finished, she was standing on her toes and he was bending over so they could give each other their first kiss. Fredrick was sure that, since he was six feet four inches and she was a mere five feet two inches, anyone watching would have busted a gut laughing at the site of the two of them trying to kiss. He didn't care though. After a few seconds, he simply wrapped his arms around her waist and lifted her up off her feet. They were like that for a few more minutes as the kiss between them deepened. Only when Mary pulled away did he put her back down on her feet. _

Fredrick was brought out of his thoughts when Mary, who had somewhat started to fall asleep, woke up as the wagon hit a bump causing a wheel to come off. Her husband muttered something inaudible under his breath, got down from the wagon and then helped her down. While he walked over to inspect the damage she recalled the day he asked her to marry him. She had just finished hanging up some clothes on the clothesline when she saw Fredrick, who had been working with both Klaas and her father, ride up and dismount.

_The more the two of them got to know each other, the more Fredrick seemed to find his way to the Wagoner home after his work day was through. The fact that Mary had given him an open invitation to dine with her and her widowed father anytime he wanted, and Mr. Wagoner had backed her up on it, had given the ones prone to gossiping something to talk about. However, when he started stopping by the Wagoner home more and more, especially around supper time…and staying until almost dark… was giving those inclined to gossip extra fuel for the fire._

"_Hello, Fredrick." Mary smiled and laid the basket she'd just picked up back on the ground. "It's good to see you. How was your day?" _

_Fredrick's only answer was to wrap his huge arms around her medium sized waist, lift her onto a small crate that stood next to the clothesline, and pull her to him. As he kissed her, Mary slid her arms around his neck and returned the kisses. "Papa will grab his shotgun if he comes out and finds us like this." Mary pulled back just enough to look into his eyes. While she wasn't surprised by the love she saw in his eyes, she was caught off guard by the words that came out of his mouth. _

"_I wish he would." Frederick brushed her bangs away from her forehead and ran his fingers down the side of her face. "It would save me the trouble of askin' him for his blessin' when we get married. That is," he said softly, "Iff'n ya'll have me." _

"_You…you want to marry me?" Mary's eyes started dancing and her smile spread wide. _

"_Yeah, I do." Fredrick grinned from ear to ear. "I love ya more than I can say. Iff'n ya'll have me, I'll do my best to do right by you." _

Mary looked around her as Fredrick worked to fix the wheel the best he could. Five years ago she thought she and her husband would be parents by now and that Fredrick would still be working with Klaas and her father. Instead, they were childless, Klaas, his wife and her father had all passed away…and she and Fredrick were heading back to a part of the United States he should remember, but didn't. Mary was sure of that for, in spite of the fact that Christina Vandervort had said that maybe Frederick had only been visiting the west, the dialect in his voice told Mary different. She couldn't help but wonder what life would hold for them now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four **

"But what if it is Hoss, pa?" Little Joe, who had ridden over from his place, stood in the middle of his father's living room feeling torn in two directions. He and Alice had received word that her father was rather ill and was requesting that they travel out to California with the children, but his father and Adam, who was sitting behind his father's desk working on some paperwork, had just told him who they thought had really bought the land Ben had put in charge of selling.

Ben understood his youngest son's dilemma, but he also knew his son needed to keep his priorities straight. "It wouldn't matter, Joe. Alice needs to see her father, just in case. If we are right, Hoss wouldn't know you anyway. It's better for you to take your wife to see her father." Ben laid his hand upon Little Joe's shoulder and promised him he'd wire him if Mr. and Mrs. Vandervort arrived before he and Alice returned. "Besides, you're only going to be gone two weeks. I dare say it will be three weeks before the Vandervorts arrive. Either way, it's up to you."

Adam, who had remained silent during their discussion, set the papers he'd been working on aside and stood up. "I, for one, agree with pa, Joe. You need to think about your wife. I mean, you're talking about her father; he could pass on. If it's Hoss, he'll still be here when you get back." Adam sighed as he headed for the door. "If you'll excuse me," Adam said as he opened the door, "I need some fresh air." Both Ben and Little Joe knew it was Adam's way of saying he didn't want to hear or talk about it anymore.

**~oOo~**

Adam _didn't_ want to hear or talk about "it" anymore, only the moment he walked to the side of the porch and saw Tabitha sitting in the chair his father kept outside looking at the slightly opened window, he knew he'd have to. He silently cursed himself, his father and Little Joe for not noticing the window wasn't completely shut. He might not feel that ways, but Tabitha was a smart and bright young lady for her age. She would want answers and, like Adam, would not rest until she got answers…and Tabitha had questions. He could see that much simply by the look on her face.

"You heard." Adam wasn't surprised by his stepdaughter's raised eyebrow or the words she used to answer him.

"What was your first clue?" Tabitha again looked at the slightly opened window and stated the obvious. "If you didn't want any of us children to know, you oughtta shut all the windows and doors."

While Adam didn't have a problem with the majority of her reply, he did have a problem the sarcastic tone in her voice. "There's no reason to speak in such a manner." Adam pulled the extra chair that sat up against the porch wall, towards him and, turning it so he could have the back of the chair to rest his arms on, sat down. "We were going to sit down with all you and the rest of the children within the next week and have a talk."

Tabitha rolled her eyes, which promptly earned her one of her stepfather's famous glares. Due to more than one experience she'd had with Adam, when he'd been pushed too far, Tabitha quickly stopped and asked, "If my Uncle Hoss is really alive and doesn't know who he is," Tabitha asked slowly, "are you going to tell him the truth? What about us children? Do you really expect Gideon to keep his mouth shut if he finds out?" Gideon was Little Joe's oldest son. At seven years old, he had quite the mouth on him when it came to speaking without thinking.

Adam's stepdaughter would never cease to amaze Adam when it came to her ability to think things through. Adam couldn't say he blamed her for the concern she'd voiced. After all, when it came to Gideon she had hit the nail on the head. In all honesty, the fact that one of the children would innocently say something was a real possibility.

Rubbing his chin, Adam thought on the conversation he and his father had had with their retired friend Paul Martin and his son, David, who had taken over his father's practice, the day before. Adam remembered how Mary Vandervort had written that everyone in Holland, Michigan had dropped the subject of Fredrick's amnesia nor had they pushed the young man in the Vandervort care into trying to remember his true name and past. That subject was dropped because every time it got brought up 'Fredrick would be hit with violent headaches and become extremely agitated. Adam and Ben had told this to both Paul and his son. Both the retired doctor and his son had said that they, doctors in general, still did not have a lot of information on how the human brain worked…especially in someone who was dealing with any form of head injury. If what they'd been told about the young's man condition was accurate, it was best to leave things alone. Adam groaned inwardly. Like it or not, he was going to have to go back in and discuss the matter further. With eight children running around the Ponderosa, all of whom had seen pictures of Hoss and heard stories about him, the adults needed to have a serious discussion.

"Leave it to me, okay?" Adam gave Tabitha a smile and, reaching out, laid his hand upon her shoulder. "For now, say nothing to your sister or Adam Jr., or in front of Thomas." Thomas might only be three only it didn't matter; he had been talking for a solid eighteen months and, sometimes, the things that came out of his mouth could embarrass any unsuspecting parent.

Tabitha nodded and stood up, as did Adam. Once they were standing, Tabitha wrapped her arms around her father's waist and hugged him. Since most of the time the young girl seldom held on tight as she was at the moment, Adam knew how upset the news had made her. He turned his head slightly and gazed at the scenery before him. "Heaven help us all" he thought before gently pulling Tabitha away from him and told her to go play and have some fun while he went back inside and talked with her grandfather.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five **

Fredrick and Mary had reached the edge of the Ponderosa thanks to the directions a gentleman who they'd met on the road. They bought their wagon to a stop, and sat there looking over the landscape. For Mary's part, the scenery, with its scattered trees, tall grass and a boulder here and there, was simply breathtaking. However, when it came to Fredrick, he found himself feeling as if someone had reached out and hit him in the stomach. He couldn't help but wonder if he should know this land called the Ponderosa. If that was the case, if he did indeed know this place, did he know the gentleman called Ben Cartwright? With that thought in his mind, he began to realize the he wanted to know who he was, even if he never remembered. Only problem was, there was no one around to ask any questions to. As he thought on it his head began to hurt. Before he knew it, he was grabbing his head and actually crying out in pain.

This reaction naturally frightened Mary, and she hurried and wrapped her arms around her husband, speaking softly to him as she did so. "Are you all right, Frederick? Maybe, once we get to this Ben Cartwright's home, we should have him send for a doctor, yeah?" After all, seeing no reason for her husband's behavior, Mary naturally worried there was something seriously wrong. She had no desire to neglect what could be a major medical issue, only to find herself a widow out in the middle of nowhere, miles and miles away from the only home she knew.

Fredrick took a deep breath, removed his hand from off his head and looked up. He wondered what to tell her as he felt sure that, as far as a doctor went, there was nothing that could be done. This being the case, why bother anyone in the medical field? "I'm fine," he answered as he turned his eyes away from the landscape and looked into his wife's upturned face, "Don't worry. Let's just find this Ben Cartwright's home." He lifted the reins in his hands and brought them down upon the horses just hard enough to give them the message they needed to move forward, yet not so hard as to hurt them. Hurting animals was not his habit, as the critters seemed to be attracted to him wherever he went.

"Yeah, I think that is a good idea." Mary answered as she laid her head upon his arm, though she continued to glance at him now and then, just to make sure he was all right.

**~oOo~**

Ben was sitting and working at the table that was on the porch when Adam rode up to the house and dismounted from his horse. He set down his pencil. He would have smiled, only Adam held a telegram in his hand. "Hello, son, I didn't expect you until later this afternoon." That was Adam's normal time of day for stopping by. Then again, the telegram might have something to do with it.

Adam, who had ridden into town that morning on some unexpected business, didn't answer until he too was sitting down. For a moment he said nothing, which had Ben greatly concerned. Finally, Adam spoke. "It's from Little Joe." He handed the telegram to his father.

Ben frowned. Little Joe was suppose to have been back a week ago, but sent word that his father in law had grown worse and Alice had wanted to stay 'just a little while longer'. He feared the telegram only held bad news. He found this to be partially true as he opened the telegram and read:

Father in law died yesterday STOP Staying until after funeral maybe up to three weeks STOP Maybe a tad bit longer STOP. Will let you know STOP Let me know if Hoss returns STOPS Don't worry STOP We are fine STOP

Ben felt his heart go out to his youngest son and daughter in law. While they had not been close knit friends with her father, there had still been a strong bond there. To lose such a bond was devastating, as Ben very well knew. Of course, if Little Joe and his family were staying in California for a little while, at least they would only have to worry about Adam's children saying something to Hoss when he arrived. That is, if this Frederick was indeed his middle son returning. He said as much and asked his oldest, his voice filling with great concern, "Do you think your children will be able to keep their mouths shut if it is him?" Okay, he was thinking specifically of nine year old Kristine. If they were to be honest, she could be just as bad as Gideon at times. Though, if a contest was held, Gideon would beat his cousin hands down.

Adam chuckled as he leaned forward a little and answered, "I don't know. You know how children are though, I promise, Laura Ann and I have more than one serious conversation with them since getting the Vandervorts letter." He wasn't surprised when his father started smiling, even chuckling a little. Adam continued talking. "I guess all we can do is hope they can. At least, until we get a chance to talk to him and his wife." He paused and then, due to a thought had come to him while he was talking, suggested that when the Vandervorts arrived, if it was Hoss that had bought the land Ben was holding for them, that Ben simply ask Fredrick if he would want to be told who he was.

Ben leaned back and thought on the suggestion had just made. He had to admit the idea had merit. The Martins had only said not to push his son to remember, if it was him. On the hand, if they did as Adam had just suggested, and Hoss said yes, what harm could it do? "Maybe…" Ben started to say, only to hear the sound of a wagon approaching. He and Adam quickly stood up, bracing themselves for what might be.


	6. First Meeting

**Chapter Six **

Fredrick sat in the Cartwright's living room alongside his wife. While she was talking to Ben and his son, Adam, Fredrick's mind turned back to the moment he and Mary had driven around the corner of the Cartwright's barn and had first seen the two Cartwright men standing on the porch.

_It was all Fredrick could do to act as if nothing was out of the ordinary as Ben and Adam came into his eyesight. For a split second, the white haired gentleman was years younger and his hair had no sign of aging in it. The same thing happened when he looked at the man dressed in black. For a split second he was a gangly young adult. It made Fredrick wonder even more if he did indeed know the Ponderosa. While his head began to hurt again, the pain did not hit so hard as to cause any worry to either Mary or the Cartwrights. _

_After stopping the wagon and climbing down, Fredrick helped his wife down. "Hello, welcome to the Ponderosa," greeted Ben, who was forcing himself to speak and act as if nothing was wrong. He smiled at his middle son and his wife and held out his hand. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt or frighten Hoss in any way. _

_Fredrick took a hold of the offered hand and then introduced himself and Mary. Afterwards, Ben had asked them inside to 'rest a spell before he took them out to the land they'd purchased, and the small home that stood on the property. Again, Fredrick saw a younger version of this man Ben. In that moment Fredrick knew that, somehow, he knew Ben Cartwright from someplace. Still, he said nothing about the realization as he thanked the gentleman and then, holding onto his wife's hand, followed both Cartwright men into the house. _

"Fredrick," Mary tapped he husband's upper arm and looked at him in concern. Ben and Adam were also keeping an eye on him. "Have you been listening to the Cartwrights?"

Embarrassed that he'd been caught with his mind wander, Fredrick apologized and sat up straighter than he'd been doing. "I'm sorry; what were you saying?"

Ben, who had noticed the look of someone who was trying to grasp something that was right in front of him, smiled. He hoped that it meant that his son would be open to the suggestion Adam had given him before Hoss and his wife arrived. "I was saying that you and your wife are more than welcome to stay here a few days, to rest up from your trip."

Adam then spoke up. "I was saying that it wouldn't be a big problem, as long as you don't mind dealing with my stepdaughters and two sons."

Fredrick looked around. Four children? The house was awfully quiet for a home that held that many children in it. The questioning look did not get past neither Ben nor his oldest, though it was Adam who spoke up. "My wife is in town with the children. They should be home soon." He would have asked his brother if he wanted someone to tell him who he was…only he felt they needed to rest first.

Fredrick looked at Mary; she looked tired even if he knew she'd never admit it if he asked. For her sake, plus the fact that there was something familiar about the Cartwright home, he nodded. "That would be great. It's been a long trip fer both of us. Though, iff'n we're gonna stay a spell," he said as he stood up, "I best go get our belongin's." He turned to go outside only to find Adam following, telling him he'd be happy to help.

**~oOo~ **

Tabitha and her siblings were climbing down from the wagon when Adam hurried out of the house. "Fredrick" and Mary had retired to the room he had shown them to, and Adam didn't want the children to barge into the house and wake the couple up. At least, not today he didn't. "Keep your voices down!" Adam spoke sternly, but not harshly. His actions, and tone of voice, put Laura Ann on high alert.

"They're here?" she asked as Adam stopped by the wagon to help his wife out of the wagon.

"Yes, and before you ask," Adam answered as he looked at his children with the most serious expression they'd ever seen on his face, "yes, it's your Uncle Hoss. _However_, it's like we told you before he doesn't remember who he really is, so you call him Mister Vandervort until you are told different. _Do_ you understand?"

"Yes, pa," the three older children answered while his youngest just looked at him as if he were totally lost.

"Go inside and be quiet." He told them as he explained that their uncle and aunt were sleeping and he didn't want them to be woken up. "I'd like to talk to your mother." Again, he heard only affirmative replies as the three older children headed inside, leaving him and Laura Ann to talk while Thomas held onto his mother's shirt and, leaning backwards, rocked back and forth.

"How did things go when he got here?" She was as curious as all get out and was praying for the best.

Adam put his hands on his hips as he turned his head and looked up at Hoss' old room, the one his brother and his wife were now using. "They were pretty tired when they got here, though from what I saw in Hoss' eyes, I think his memories are trying to come back." He hoped that was the case anyway. "I was thinking to, maybe it would be a good idea if you and the children went to visit your parents for awhile. I mean, they've been after you too visit and; well…." Adam fidgeted, afraid he'd upset his wife, if he hadn't already.

He needn't have worried as Laura Ann busted up laughing. "You're one of the bravest men I know, Adam and you're acting worse than bear caught in a trap." Truth be told though, she couldn't blame him a bit.

"I know; it's just that it would give us the time we need to get reacquainted with Hoss before one of the children slip up and say something. I'm afraid we'll either scare him off or cause a health problem, like the Martins suggested. We need to go slow at this. " One of the children slipping up had been on his mind ever since he'd read his brother's first letter.

Laura Ann sighed and shook her head. "I understand where you're coming from Adam, but my taking the children and leaving is not the answer. Though, it might not be a bad idea to tell your father we think it best if the children and I stay at the cabin for awhile. At least that way, Hoss could still get acquainted with his nieces and nephews without having them underfoot in the evening. That's when they're the most tired anyway, and more likely to slip up." Adam smiled as he knew Laura Ann was right. That being the case, he told her to go ahead and go into the house while unhitched the team from the wagon and put the animals back in the barn. It was a request Laura Ann did not fight as she leaned over, picked up Thomas and headed into the house.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven **

Fredrick, who had gone to check on his and Mary's team of horses, found himself stopping dead in his tracks as he came to a nice looking black stallion. He looked strangely familiar, yet Fredrick knew there was no way he could have known him before, as the animal couldn't be a day over six or seven years old. At least, he didn't think so and he had a knack with knowing what was what when it came to animals. Only when he heard someone else enter the barn did Fredrick turn his attention away from the horse. "Nice looking horse ya've got there. What's his name?" He said as Adam stopped walking and stood beside him.

"Chubby, well, he's actually Chubby the second, but we just say Chubby." Adam answered honestly, and watched for any sign of recognition to the name of his brother's former horse that had had the misfortune of having to be put down after he'd tried to jump a fence and broke his leg.

Fredrick stiffened as a scene from just that morning came to his mind.

"_I like Chubby the best. Pa says if I'm good and help take care of him then, in a few years, he can be mine." _Kristine's words from the discussion she'd been having with her older sister that morning rang in Fredrick's ears. Then, as now, Fredrick felt strongly he should know the name, but how?

While Fredrick was thinking on the girls' conversation, Adam was recalling a talk he'd had with his father.

"_One of us needs to ask him, pa." Adam stood next to his father's desk talking about Hoss and the fact that, after a solid night sleep, it might be okay to deal with his amnesia and the family. _

"_I know, but I keep on thinking about what Dr. Martin and Paul said." Ben sat back in his chair. "I'm afraid of doing more harm than good." _

"_And I'm afraid that, in the long run, if we don't, he won't trust us. I mean, if we keep his identity from him, if he wants it, he might resent it." _

Seeing the look that had come into his brother's eyes, and having prior permission from his father to approach the subject if he saw fit, Adam took a deep breath and asked, "May I ask you a question?"

Fredrick wasn't going to tell Adam no; if for no other reason than he was curious as to what the man in black wanted. "Go ahead. Don't know that I kin give ya an answer, but ya can ask."

Adam leaned against a nearby stall and asked, "If there was someone who could tell you who you were, and could prove what they said, would you want to be told?"

Fredrick, who had gone back to looking at his horses, turned to face Adam, a surprised look on his face. Those words were the last thing he'd expected to hear Adam Cartwright ask. Actually, the more he thought on it, they weren't even on the list of possibilities. Turning away from Adam, Fredrick ran his hand through his rather thin brown hair, as he rolled Adam's question around in his mind. How did he feel about trusting someone else telling him who he was? More importantly, how would he know if they were telling him the truth? Then again, this was Adam Cartwright who was asking and he, Fredrick knew because of research he'd done before writing the Cartwrights in the first place, was an honest man. If Adam said he knew someone who could give him back his past, ten to one he could do it. On top of all that he, Fredrick, _did_ know the scenery and the Cartwrights somehow.

"I…." He started to answer only to have his heart jump, as did Adam's, when they heard Laura Ann screaming for her husband. Both men took off running faster than a racing horse being let out of the starting gate. By the time they flew through the door Ben was kneeling down by Tabitha, who lay at the bottom of the steps unconscious.

"What happened?" Adam asked, fear for his stepdaughter in his voice, as hurried over and knelt down on the other side of his daughter.

"Not really sure," Ben answered, "I was reading." He then looked at Laura Ann, who was beside him. His eyes asked her if she had seen everything from the start.

"I'm not really sure." Laura Ann, who felt sick to her stomach, answered as she looked from her father in law and husband, to the stairs and then to her oldest child. "One minute she had finished descending the stairs to the middle platform, the next she was falling down the stairs that lead to the living room."

Adam carefully picked up his daughter and carried her to the guest bedroom that sat off to the side of the kitchen; Fredrick held the bedroom door open so Adam could enter the room and lay his daughter down. "I'm going for the doctor." Adam said as he stepped out of his wife's way; she was making her way to the side of the bed to be near their daughter. Seconds later, Adam had disappeared out the front door.

**~oOo~ **

Fredrick walked out onto the porch to find Kristine sitting on the porch looking rather scared. His heart went out to her and he made his way over to where she was and sat down beside her. He let his arms rest on his bent legs while his hands hung downwards. As he heard a few birds flying overhead, he looked upwards.

Kristine, who expected him to say something, followed his gaze when he didn't. "Tabitha likes birds. We watch them together all the time." She spoke softly, but Fredrick still heard the fear in her voice.

"She'll watch 'em with you again, just ya wait and see." Fredrick did his best to comfort the scared child. "Your pa and ma, along with the doctor are with her right now."

Kristine turned her eyes away from the birds as they disappeared out of view and looked at the man whom her parents and grandfather said remembered nothing about who he was or his past. And, due to the fact she'd only been told not to mention he was her uncle, thought nothing about voicing the fear that was in her heart. "What if she gets am…amne…" she struggled to think of the word her father had used.

"Amnesia," Fredrick gave her a sympathetic smile, but wondered how come a nine year old child knew the term. "Don't ya worry, I'm sure she'll be fine."

Again, thinking she was only supposed to avoid calling him by his real name, Kristine asked, "But what if she gets it? I don't want ten years to go by and her not know who I am." She wiped a few tears off her face as she sniffled.

Fredrick sat up straight. _"If there was someone who could tell you who you were, and could prove what they said, would you want to be told?" _Adam's words from the barn came back to him. Fredrick had had amnesia for ten years and Adam's daughter had now used that same amount of time in expressing her fears for her sister. "Yer sister will be fine. I'm sure of it." He patted her knee and stood up.

The moment they knew the young girl called Tabitha would be fine, Fredrick had a couple of men he was going to talk to.


	8. Oh no

**Chapter Eight **

The wind was starting to blow, as Fredrick and Mary walked through the yard talking about everything from Tabitha's accident to the fact that Fredrick was feeling more and more like there had to be a relation between himself and the Cartwrights, though until Tabitha was fully awake (she was drifting in and out consciousness) he didn't feel like cornering Adam or his father. After all, the poor men plus Laura Ann were scared to death for their daughter and granddaughter who had at least a broken arm from the accident. He would just bide his time until things had settled down before talking to the men.

"They say there's another brother." Hoss and Mary took cover in the barn as the wind started flowing a bit harder. They would have simply gone inside the house, but they wanted some time alone. He went on to tell him what the family had told him about Little Joe. "The man has a wife and four children, all of them are his by blood." Fredrick shook his head, "Doesn't sound like a man that should have the title 'little' in front of his name."

Due to a conversation she'd have with Adam's wife, Mary knew all about the man called Joseph Francis Cartwright and his family. "Yeah, one would think that. Still, he's the youngest and has had that title for years. It is hard to get rid of nicknames when they've been with a body that long, no?"

Fredrick couldn't argue with that one, especially since he'd had the impression for some time that he too had a nickname that had stuck to him for years; only question was, what was it? "Yeah, I guess yer right." He admitted as he started climbing up to the loft with Mary following him. The two of them had a habit of sitting in lofts discussing everything under the sun and sometimes simply losing themselves in each other. This time they made their way to the loft doors that were opened and sat in such a way as to make sure they would not fall out, yet still enjoying the scenery.

After a few moments, Mary then turned to face him and asked, "So, when are you going to ask the Cartwrights how you should know them?"

Fredrick's surprise shown on his face as his eyes widened and his mouth opened ever so slightly. When he snapped out of it, Fredrick replied, "How did you know?" He wasn't surprised when Mary rolled her eyes.

"I've known you for close to nine and a half years and married to you for five. Do you really think I would not notice the looks in your eyes as you looked upon this land? The tiniest of movement in them as you saw Mr. Cartwright or his son, Adam?" Mary shook her head in disbelief. "Answer my question. When are you gonna ask?"

Thinking on Tabitha lying in her bed, Fredrick told his wife what he'd already decided. "They have enough on their plate without me pressing them for answers." Mary did not agree, thinking that it would be something the Cartwrights would be more than happy to tell him no matter what, but she did not argue. Any other conversation they might have had stopped as Kristine and Adam Jr. walked out of the house and began to play horseshoes.

It was rather comical watching the nine year old girl doing her best to be patient and teach her little brother to throw the horse shoe the way it needed to be thrown. Both Fredrick and Mary were sure the children were simply trying to keep busy while their parents and grandfather tended to Tabitha. When Mary let out a sigh, Fredrick turned and looked at his wife. He couldn't help but feel his heart go out to her. From the look in her eyes, Fredrick knew his wife was once more aching for a child of her own to hold. However, not knowing what else they could besides hope and pray that it would someday happen, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders and pulled her close. "We haven't had much time for ourselves the past couple of days." Fredrick whispered as he kept a hold of his wife with one hand and closed the loft doors with the other one, and they stayed shut for a solid hour.

**~oOo~ **

"How is she?" Fredrick, who had been out splitting wood, asked somewhat hesitantly when he saw Adam, head slightly bent, staring into the empty fireplace. He feared what the man's actions, or lack of action, might mean.

Adam rubbed his forehead with his fingers before sitting up straight and looking at Fredrick. "She's not turning and tossing anymore and, from what Dr. Martin said, everything looks good. He is growing concerned because she's never fully regained consciousness, but he's not so worried as to transport her anywhere. He says the fact that she has drifted in and out of consciousness is a good thing and he hopes to avoid a trip to the hospital."

Fredrick was relieved to hear that. Though, he was concerned that she was still having problems. He remembered all too well his own ordeal and prayed that he hadn't been mistaken in what he'd told Kristine while talking to her. "Does he think they'll be any damage besides her broken arm?"

When his brother asked about Tabitha's injuries, Adam had Dr. Martin's words ring again in his ears. _"The biggest concern I have is that when your daughter fell she; somehow, hit the back of her head. I know that by the bump on the back of her head." Dr. Martin looked at both Adam and Laura Ann, "The bump is over the area where the optic nerve runs. Semi-conscious or not, her pupils are responding to light; however, there's still a slight possibility her sight will be effected."_

"Maybe," Adam slowly admitted. "All…" Adam never had a chance to finish his sentence as he heard Tabitha begin to scream for her mother. Since Mary had insisted on taking Laura Ann and Kristine for a ride, to get the distraught mother and her second daughter some fresh air, Adam jumped out of his chair and ran upstairs praying that Tabitha would settle for him, while Fredrick was right behind him, even if a part of him told him he had no business following Adam upstairs.

Ben, who had been sitting and watching over his granddaughter, was holding Tabitha when Adam and Fredrick entered the room. The young girl was still screaming for her mother as Adam hurried over and took her from his father. "Your mother will be home soon. For now I'm here." Adam said only to have chills go down his spine as the child grabbed on him with her good arm and held on for dear life and screamed, "I can't see, Pa, I can't see!"


	9. Discussion

***From here on out, when Hoss learns his true name, I will go stop referring to him as Fredrick UNLESS Mary is talking to him. Remember, she's been calling him Fredrick for a number of years. **

**Chapter****Nine **

Fredrick leaned against the stair railing, while Mary sat on the couch next to Laura Ann. She was in shock at what Adam, who was sitting in his chair, and her father in law, who was standing leaning against the mantle of the fireplace, had just told her.

Fredrick had stayed quiet during the discussion about Tabitha's condition, and what should be done. Dr. Martin had said there was nothing that he could do for the young girl. It was only when Adam said they should consider sending the child to a blind school, and Laura Ann vehemently objected to the suggestion, Fredrick spoke up.

"Iff'n you don't mind, I have another idea." Fredrick looked at Mary first; she gave him a slight nod of her head knowing full well what he was thinking and why, and then at everyone else. Naturally they were all curious.

"What is it?" Adam asked after a few moments of silence.

Fredrick took a deep breath and began, "Well, to be honest, before I tell ya, I reckon we need to talk about another matter first." He looked at Ben and Adam and, mentioning Adam's question in the barn, shocked the two men when he asked them if they knew who he was before he got amnesia, along with admitting the Ponderosa and they were familiar to him.

"If the idea I am gonna give you is ta work, there kin't be any surprises waitin' to pop out at us." He explained.

Adam looked at his father. Ben looked as if it was all he could do not to jump up and embrace his middle son. Adam guessed his father would have if he wasn't feeling as if he was being tossed about on one very tumultuous sea.

Adam looked back at his brother and said quietly, "You're my half-brother. We share the same father, but different mothers, as does Little Joe." Adam went on to explain that he was the oldest, and then added, "You disappeared after going to check on a string of horses. We were never to find out why, though we always wondered if it had anything to do with the large amount of money you had on you had the time."

The fact that he was surprised to hear he was actually talking to his family showed as his eyes widened, though a slight frown and a more serious look quickly took its place upon his face. _"He has nothing, papa," Christina's voice floated through the partially opened door that led to the room where he lay, "no memory, no money, nothing. We can be his family, no?"_

"I dare say it was the money." Fredrick said as the long ago memory finished running through his mind. "What's my name?" He looked at Ben, who seemed to be getting a hold of himself.

"Eric," Ben answered slowly. "But, we called you Hoss." He paused and looked up the stairs and then back to his son. "We wanted to tell you, but we were afraid." He went on to repeat what both the retired doctor and his son had told them. "Hoss," he leaned forward, "I may call you Hoss again, can't I?" When Hoss nodded slightly, Ben continued, "What is your idea?"

"Fer you to understand how I dare make the suggestion I'm gonna give ya..." Hoss said, as he stepped away from the stair railing and sat down by his wife, while he and Laura Ann had moved over to make room for him, "You need to know that shortly after Mary and I went and got married, I had an accident myself." He shrugged his shoulders and shocked them again when he said, "I spent two years with no sight. When it came back, all the doctors could guess was that it was more of an emotional shock that had blinded me rather than the damage they thought had been done."

With his admission, the Cartwrights caught on to what Hoss was leading to. "You want to be her teacher?" Adam sat straight up and asked, even as he asked the question, he had the strongest impression there was more to it than that.

There was, and Hoss didn't deny it. "Sometimes, the first reaction a person has is; 'why me' and the need for others to feel sorry for them." Hoss smiled as he looked at Mary, squeezed her hand ever gently, and then looked back at the man he now knew to be his older brother. "The best thing Mary did for me was to find a teacher who was willing to work with me, but consented to stay in a small home a few miles away from the one she and I shared. That way it was like being in a school instead of just havin' someone visitin'."

Hoss wasn't surprised when horror filled Laura Ann's eyes, and concern filled both Adam and Ben's.

"You need to understand, there's a high chance Tabitha would simply turn to you and want you to do what she can do most likely for herself. It's not like you couldn't come by every day and visit for an hour or so."

Silence filled the room as Adam, his wife and Ben all let Hoss' words set in. The fact that he'd told them he'd spent two years without his sight was both their minds boggling and comforting; as strange as it was to think that way they knew it was the truth. At least they would have the knowledge he could give Tabitha with the empathy she needed as well as the backbone to insist she learn to be independent in spite of her blindness…however long it lasted, be it a few days, weeks or even a lifetime.

"We'll talk about it." Adam looked at his wife and then stood up and walked over to Hoss, who had also stood to meet him. Adam clamped his hand down upon Hoss' shoulder and gave it a slight shake. "Thanks, brother."

Even as he said the words brother, Hoss embraced him. That broke the ice and soon Ben was also hugging him, along with stating the fact that, as sorry as he was to hear that Hoss had spent two years blind, he was grateful Tabitha would have someone in the family who could relate to the life she now may face. Afterwards, Ben couldn't get to town fast enough…to send a wire to Little Joe and let him know what had taken place.


	10. Adjustment

*Reminder: Unless Mary is talking I will be referring to Hoss by his name (Hoss). She, of course, continues to call him Fredrick.

**Chapter Ten **

Hoss guided his young niece though the door of the small cabin, Ben had said he and Mary could use while he was teaching Tabitha. Adam and Laura Ann had promised their daughter that, while they would not drop in every day, they would check on her on a regular basis. The truth was Hoss and Mary had urged them to stop by at least two to three times a week, maybe even four, but not to make it a daily habit.

_"Not only do you have yer other children that need yer attention too, iff'n Tabitha is to adjust she needs to concentrate on learning…not simply existing until you stop by fer the day."_

When Hoss let go of Tabitha, the eleven year old automatically tried to grab a hold of him with her good arm again. Making her let go of him hurt Hoss a lot, but he knew from experience how important it was that he…as badly as he wanted to… could not let her use him as a crutch.

"The room is small and square." Hoss explained. He started to describe the room, along with the facts that a couch set against the wall to her right, a small coffee table sat in front of it and two chairs sat against the wall to her left. "The kitchen is on the other side of the living room. There is no barrier between the two rooms. There are two doors that stood between the couch and the kitchen. Both of those doors led to bedrooms. The one right after the couch will be yours." He then turned her to face the wall that held the couch and two rooms, and began teaching her how to find her way around what could turn out to be her home for a few weeks. More than once, he reassured her that, sooner or later, she'd be able to learn her way around the home she shared with her family. "I promise," Hoss said as he looked with empathy upon his young niece, "I'll be watchin' you the whole time."

For Tabitha's part, she was still rather scared, though, like the family had hoped, the fact that she didn't have the stress of having to worry about not calling her uncle by his real name was helping out a lot. That and the fact that, due to his own experience with blindness, she knew she could trust her Uncle Hoss to know what he was talking about.

Slowly she began walking to turn around and bump into the table, Tabitha started crying and pounding a fist into her uncle's thigh. "I don't want to be blind, Uncle Hoss! I want to see again! You said you'd be watching me!"

"I was watchin' you, pumpkin and I do understand." Hoss, taking a hold of her wrist and holding her hand away from his body, told her feeling his heart go out to the young child once again. "Only you are fer now. The best thing you can do fer yerself and yer family is not let it keep you down. And, iff'n if you were in real danger, I'd have stopped ya." Hoss said as he moved his hand gently onto her shoulder.

"Huh? Keep me down? I'm standing up!" Tabitha snapped without meaning to, though she quit trying to hit him. She was already frightened and upset…she didn't feel like adding confused to the list.

Hoss couldn't help it; he started laughing. "I jist mean ya got to keep livin' yer life, learnin' and doin' things with a good attitude. Sure, you don't like not bein' able to see with yer eyes. I didn't either, but I had a choice…learn to really live in spite of it or simply feel like I was existin'."

Tabitha wasn't sure what he meant by 'really living', only she knew what 'simply existing' was and she didn't like it. Squaring her shoulders and lifting her hand in such a position as to protect her face as her Uncle Hoss had instructed her earlier, the plucky eleven year old made her way to the wall…following her uncle's directions.

By the end of the day Tabitha was tired and more than a bit homesick. Though, the homesickness was eased a little when her Aunt Mary sat on her bed, held her and sang the song Tabitha asked her to. Her aunt then had her say her prayers before she, Mary, tucked her into bed.

~oOo~

Hoss was standing on the porch and looking up at the sky; the stars were just starting to poke their heads out for the night, when Mary walked up beside him. Wrapping both her arms around his right arm, she rested her head against him and joined in him star gazing. Only when Hoss spoke were more than the night sounds heard. Remembering how his niece become frustrated more than once, but kept going after he'd talked her, Hoss was still feeling sorry for the child.

"She'll be fine, Fredrick, you'll see." Mary answered as she caught sight of a deer and her young fawn off in the distance. "I bet by the time Adam and Laura Ann come to visit, Tabitha will be able to show them this small home without our help." Then, due to a few comments Tabitha had made during the moments she was frustrated, Mary added as she looked at her husband with her own empathy showing, "She doesn't hate you or her parents, you do know this, yeah?"

Hoss gave her a smile and turned to face his wife. He remembered too well some of the things that had come out of his mouth when he'd first lost his eyesight. The fact that Mary had stuck by him in spite of his words and bad behavior, along with standing by him even after he'd 'come to his senses' as Klaas had put it, had endeared her to him forever.

"Let's just hope she realizes that by the time Adam and Laura Ann come to see her." Hoss answered as he led his wife back into the cabin and into their own room.

It had been a long day for both of them, one that had held little time for just the two of them. He intended to remedy that before they fell asleep for the night.


	11. You should consider

**Chapter Eleven **

Adam, Laura Ann and nine year old Kristine sat in their surrey a hundred yards away from the cabin; they could see Tabitha sitting on the porch talking with her Aunt Mary. Once again, both had their minds on the conversation they'd had with Hoss a few hours before he while his wife and Tabitha were away from the cabin.

"_Exactly how much time are we talking about?" Adam looked at his brother and asked; Laura Ann's teary eyes were asking the same question. _

_Hoss shrugged his shoulders. "That will depend on Tabitha. Iff'n she chooses to grab the bull by the horns and deal with things, I dare say it won't be more than a week. However, if she fights it at every turn, it could be longer. The thing is Adam, iff'n she shows her temper with just her aunt and me, ten to one she'd do ten times worse to you. Iff'n she's to live in the main house, she can't be feeling sorry for herself and turnin' to all of you fer help at every challenge." _

Adam looked at his wife and daughter; they'd shed a lot of tears the past two weeks. He might not have shed as many; still, he'd cried plenty. "Shall we try again?" He asked tentatively. Things had not gone well the first time they had been there. Tabitha had made the first week that she, Hoss and Mary had been at the cabin anything but pleasant, and their visit hadn't been any better.

"_No!" Tabitha cried and pounded her fist into her father as he tried to embrace her after being told that, no, they hadn't come to take her home. They'd simply come to visit and see how she was doing. "I don't want to stay here! I want to go home!" _

"_We already talked about this." Adam forced himself to stick to the decision he and Laura Ann had made. Taking a hold of her good hand, Adam told her. "You will stay here and learn what your Uncle Hoss can teach you. We will worry about what we'll do later when that time comes." He wasn't surprised when Tabitha screamed that she hated him and then hurried to make her way to her room. _

Hearing Tabitha yell that she hated him had hurt Adam, but he prayed that, given time, she would come to see it had all been for the best. When his wife did not answer, Adam again asked if they should try again, doing his best to smile for his wife and daughter's sake. Laura Ann felt like asking what he thought, but she didn't. Instead, she simply nodded her head and prayed for the best, as did Kristine.

Hoss, Mary and Tabitha all turned their heads when they heard the sound of someone approaching. Naturally, Tabitha was the first to speak. She'd been feeling pretty bad when it came to her actions the week before and desperately wanted to visit with her parents this time. "Is it my pa and ma? Is my sister and brothers with them?"

Hoss couldn't blame his niece for wanting their visitors to be her whole family only, from what he could see, that wasn't the case today. "It's your parents and sister this time, pumpkin."

Tabitha quickly stood up and, slowly, made her way off the porch. By the time she was standing on the ground, Adam was stopping the surrey and helping his wife and daughter down. "Ma? Pa?" The young girl took a step forward and started calling out the names of her family only to find her mother embracing her and Adam laying his hands upon her shoulder while Kristina stood nearby waiting; they told her that her brothers had stayed with their grandfather.

Adam looked at Hoss who gave him a look that shouted 'ask me your questions once Tabitha is somewhere else.' Adam didn't know whether that was good or bad, though he didn't demand an answer right then and there. Instead, he gave his daughter a strong embrace and then stood back up. The moment he let go of his oldest daughter Mary offered to take the girls around back and watch them while they visited. It was an offer no one turned down.

Adam and Laura Ann turned to his brother once Mary and the girls were out of sight, making sure he wasn't so loud they could hear him, as the "backyard" really wasn't all that far way. "How is she doing?"

"She's doin' okay everythin' bein' the way it is." Hoss answered as he rested his hands on his hips. "In all honesty, I reckon she'd do just at good at your home now as here." He might has well have added the word 'but', for Adam and Laura Ann both heard it anyway.

"What are you saying?" Laura Ann asked just as her husband went to ask the exact same thing.

Hoss lifted a hand up and rubbed the back of his neck before placing it back on his hip. He figured the woman, he now knew to be his sister in law, wouldn't be happy with what he had to say, and doubted Adam would like it much either. Still, truth was truth, and it needed to be said. "I don't know if her blindness will last long or not." Hoss locked his eyes on Laura Ann's, needing her to accept the truth of the words he'd say. "Only, as long as she stays blind, I really think ya should reconsider sendin' her to the school for the blind."

Hoss wasn't surprised when Laura Ann looked as if he'd pulled the rug out from her and hurried to continue on. "I have taught her as much as I can, but she needs to know she ain't the only one who has gone and lost their eyesight. Yeah, she has family here and is getting great support and comfort, only..." Hoss paused, as he glanced towards the cabin and then back at his brother and sister-in-law, "Ya got to think about her other needs, like the need to know fer herself she ain't the only one who has no sight, not just be told it…and bein' able to read those bumps they call Braille and write." He quit speaking wondering if this brother whom he was only beginning to know again would listen and what his sister in law would say and do.

Adam and Laura Ann looked at each other, each could see how hard of a time the other one was having with the idea…even if they both knew Hoss was right. "We'll talk about it later. For now, if she's doing so well, she's coming home." Adam said.

Adam then waited until his wife, who had quickly headed for the backyard after hearing her husband's words to tell Hoss what else he'd come out to the cabin for. "Little Joe and his family are home," he said, as he made his way to the porch and sat down. He looked at Hoss in order to gage his response.

Little Joe, it still sounded like a strange name to give a full grown man. Hoss frowned slightly, as he tried to get a picture of the man who was supposed to be his baby brother. The fact that nothing came didn't surprise Hoss in the least. "Does he know about me? Does he know about what happened to Tabitha?" He asked the questions, even though he felt they weren't really necessary.

"Yeah," Adam leaned back in his chair and listened to the sound of Tabitha's laughter, mingled with her sister's, aunt's and mother's that was drifting around the corner of the small cabin. "We told him. He's eager to see you again." He wasn't surprised when Hoss fidgeted and looked uncomfortable.

"What if I don't recognize him?" Hoss didn't know why he asked the question as he had recognized his father and Adam enough to know that he should know them, surely it would be the same with his other brother.

"We'll worry about that bridge when we come to it. Now," Adam said as he stood up with a twinkle in his eyes, "I'm going to see my daughter."

Moments later, Tabitha's delighted squeals could be heard as Adam picked her up and twirled her around in circles…she had loved her stepfather doing that from the moment he'd started courting her mother. Needless to say, Adam got plenty of exercise before his wife helped Tabitha get ready to go back home, after that Adam continued talking with Hoss…assuring him that, no matter what, Little Joe would be happy to see him.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter****Twelve **

The wind was just beginning to blow as Hoss, Mary and the others pulled up to the main house. Little Joe's children were running around the front yard and their parents were standing on the porch. The moment they saw Hoss and Mary all the playing stopped; it felt like time had frozen. For a split second, Hoss wished he and Mary could simply turn around and go back to the cabin, but then Adam chased his nieces and nephews into the house, while Kristine followed her mother, who was leading Tabitha.

After the children and Adam, along with Laura Ann disappeared into the house, Alice smiled at Hoss and Mary and said, "I think it's best if I wait inside…" She never finished her sentence as Little Joe took a hold of her arm.

"Not before you at least meet my brother Eric, or Hoss, Cartwright." Little Joe, who had been looking at Hoss and fighting the emotions he had inside of him, did his best to hide his nervousness. "I can't believe you're back, Hoss." He quickly added, "It feels good." He laid his hand on his wife's shoulders and introduced her. "This is my wife Alice. I met her shortly after you disappeared."

Hoss, who had also been looking Joe over, remembered a quick glimpse of a young, somewhat annoying, man. Oh course, he was sure the annoying part was just part of growing up. And that hair, when had the style changed? The fact that Little Joe had met Alice after he, Hoss, had left made Hoss feel better…as he had quickly realized he had no memory of the young woman. "Nice to meet you, ma'am,"

"Alice," she said, then smiled as she took a hold of the hand Hoss was holding out, "you can call me by my name."

Hoss then introduced his wife, after which the two women insisted on going inside. When Mary and Alice had disappeared into the house, Little Joe leaned against the nearby post and looked at his brother. "Adam says you've become Tabitha's teacher." There was a mixture of pride and disbelief in his voice.

Hoss nodded as he stuck his hands into his pockets. "I'm doin' what I can, but what the child needs is proper schoolin'. I ain't much for that."

That statement got a chuckle of Little Joe. He couldn't stop it; after all, he remembered all the times Hoss had complained about having to go to school. "You never were."

An uncomfortable silence fell among them, both brothers wondering what to say to the other. Finally Joe stepped forward and gave his brother a genuine smile. "The way we're acting you'd think we were allergic to each other. Welcome home, Hoss!" He gave his brother the biggest bear hug he could, one which Hoss returned…doing his best not to hug his baby brother too tight.

**~oOo~ **

Adam stepped through his daughter's bedroom doorway and sighed. His young stepdaughter was standing near the window with her head tilted upwards slightly. _"The child is legally blind. She can tell light from darkness, but everything else is a blurr and, no, before you ask, glasses will not fix the problem." _ The doctor's words rang in Adam's ears as he walked up beside Tabitha.

Hearing her stepfather walk up beside her, Tabitha turned on him and, having overheard a portion of the conversation he'd had with her mother earlier in the evening, she snapped, "You're going to send me away because I'm blind! You don't want me around!" The anger and hurt she felt inside could be heard loud and clear.

Adam felt his heart breaking as he knelt down beside his stepdaughter. He hated to see her hurting like this, but he had to do what he could to make her understand. "I _do_ want you around, so does your mother and the rest of the family." Adam took a hold of her upper arms and turned her towards him. Her sightless eyes staring straight ahead again tore at him, yet he kept his voice firm. Tabitha needed them to be strong worse than ever. "We also want you to have a good education. You can't get that here. However, you can get it at the school for the blind."

Tabitha knew Adam spoke the truth, though it didn't help her emotions any. "Uncle Hoss has been teaching me!" She threw the words out, as tears began to roll down her cheeks. "He can keep teaching me! Don't send me away, please, pa, please!" By this time the tears were falling down her cheeks faster than water going over a waterfall, and she was holding onto Adam for all she was worth.

Adam picked her up and then sat down in the rocking chair that his wife had moved into the room shortly after Tabitha was hurt. For a moment he said nothing as a couple of tears escaped his own eyes. He then took a deep breath and started talking and assuring Tabitha everything would be all right. "Your uncle is doing all he can for you. This would only be for the school year. We'll see you here at the ranch during Thanksgiving, Christmas and during the summer. Other times," he kissed her forehead as she continued sobbing quietly, "We'll travel to San Francisco to visit you."

"This is Uncle Hoss' idea." Tabitha's anger again showed its face. "I wish he'd never come back."

Adam counted to ten, reminding himself that it was fear talking, not the daughter he knew and loved well. "I thank the good Lord he came back." Adam said quietly after he'd finished counting. "He knows what you're going through, how important it is for you to be able to given the tools needed to go forward, and is proving to be the mountain of strength we all need. He's helping you adjust to your blindness, but even he admits he's not much help when it comes to teaching you to read in Braille and such." Just as he finished speaking, he looked up and saw Hoss standing in the door way. The look in his eyes told Adam that his brother had heard what his niece had said.

"Mind iff'n I come in?" Hoss asked quietly, his own heart going out to his young niece. Adam nodded as he stood up and sat Tabitha down upon her feet. He wasn't surprised when his daughter simply stood saying nothing. Adam then left the room, but not before tapping his brother's upper arm and giving him a grateful smile.

After Adam left, Hoss walked over to the chair and sat down. "I reckon we need to talk." He then waited until Tabitha made her way to her bed and sat down before starting the conversation he intended to have with her.


	13. Gift of Hope

**Chapter****Thirteen **

Tabitha sat on the porch of her grandfather's home. She could hear her cousins and siblings running around in the yard. She knew her father was hitching the horses to the wagon; soon they would begin their journey to the blind school in San Francisco. She was still very nervous, but had resigned herself to the fact that she would be living at the school while she continued getting the education her parents wanted for her.

"Yer gonna be fine, pumpkin." Hoss clasped his hands together as he looked upon his niece. "Before you know it Thanksgiving will be here and then Christmas." He was doing his best to sound upbeat and happy for his niece's sake. It reminded Tabitha of her Uncles kind words from the night before, and her mind went back to a portion of that conversation.

_"I don't know why the good Lord allowed life to take yer eyesight from ya, but there's got to be a reason. " Hoss stood by the window looking from the scenery outside to his niece. "But there is one. Ya jist don't know it yet." _

_"How can you be so sure?" Tabitha, who was wiping her tears away from her face, asked. _

_"'Cause," Hoss smiled as he stepped away from the window, walked over to the bed and sat down beside his niece. "When I lost my eyesight, I couldn't see a reason for it either. I mean, all I could see was that the Vandervorts and Mary, they done got themselves more ta do fer me." Hoss shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "Reckon, that's all they'd have got, iff'n Mary hadn't been strong enough to insist I get that teacher to help me. Look," he said and faced Tabitha as he laid his hand gently on her shoulder, "I kin't say I know how it's like to go the blind school, but I do know what it's like ta be blind and not to have yer family 'round. I mean, like yer pa and such. Ya, you'll miss 'em and cry at times, but do ya really want to have to depend on other people yer whole life to read ta ya? Do ya want them ta tell ya how things were or are; leadin ya around by the arm, and all that?" He paused and added quietly, "Yer parents want ya to be able ta learn and grow like ya were doin' before the accident like my Mary wanted me ta have a good life too." He then added, "Ya think this is easy on yer parents?" _

_Tabitha squirmed a little and replied, "Pa don't seem to have any trouble with the idea." Even as she said the words, she knew in her gut it wasn't the truth. Hoss backed that feeling up. _

_ "Reckon yer wrong about that, pumpkin. It's tearin' him up inside. He loves ya, downright hates the thought of sendin' ya away. I've seen it on his face and heard it in his voice when he talks." _

_ "So, why is he?" Tabitha asked softly. _

_ "I reckon he just wants the best fer ya, the same way he always has." _

Tabitha, who was making an honest effort to stop blaming Hoss for the changes coming her way, knew what he was doing and found herself appreciating it very much. Slowly, she moved her hand. It didn't take long for her to find his huge arm and find her way to his large hands, causing Hoss to have to swallow and hold back a couple of tears. "Is it so bad to say, that maybe someday I'll thank you for pushing pa and ma to send me to live at the blind school?"

Hoss started chuckling as he laid his right hand over hers. He knew all too well where she was coming from. "Naw, I reckon it means yer a very normal young gal." He paused as he watched his nieces and nephews playing; he couldn't help but smile as he added, "You'll make friends and, I dare say, make a lot of good memories too."

He found a lump in his throat when his niece turned her head slightly and said rather bluntly, "You'd make a great father. Why don't you and Aunt Mary have a child of your own?"

Hoss went to explain that sometimes that, no matter how badly one wanted such a thing, life denied it to them when Mary walked up to the porch with a smile as wide as the Ponderosa upon her face.

She shocked both her husband and niece when she said, "By the time you come home for your summer vacation we will have." She wasn't surprised by the stunned look that appeared upon her husband's face and the "YIPEE" that came out of Tabitha's. Naturally, all her cousins stopped playing and Adam, who had finished securing the team of the horses to the wagon, all turned and looked at the three on the porch wondering what had been said to get such a reaction out of Tabitha, who had been so quiet all morning.

Hoss let go of Tabitha's hand and stood up and looked at his wife. "Are you sure?" He asked as he glanced down at his wife's abdomen and then back up to her face. When his wife nodded and continued smiling wide, Hoss let out a loud "YES" and hugged her.

Adam, who had walked up to his daughter and taken a hold of her hand, guessed what had happened and congratulated his brother and sister in law. He then looked at his stepdaughter as Laura Ann walked out of the house. "It looks like your mother is ready. I guess we best get going."

He looked at Mary and Hoss. "Are you sure you don't mind watching Kristine and the boys while we're gone?" After what his brother and wife had just learned, Adam wondered if they wouldn't want some peace and quiet before their own child arrived.

Somehow, he wasn't surprised though when Hoss and Mary assured him it was no problem. "Don't ya worry 'bout yer other youngin's. They'll be fine." Hoss said as he smiled at Mary and gave her a quick squeeze, as he had his arm around her shoulders and was holding her close, "Mary and I don't mind a bit." Moments later he and Mary, along with his nieces, nephews, his father, Little Joe and Alice were all waving goodbye to Adam, his wife and Tabitha. Only after they had disappeared did everyone but Hoss and his father go about their business. Ben and Hoss remained on the porch and visited.

Ben looked upon Hoss. He would have congratulated Hoss only he could see that Hoss was still thinking about Tabitha and the fact that it had been him that had pushed for her to be sent away to the blind school. "Son, I want you to know that I thank the good Lord every day for not only bringing you back to us, but also for the gift you've given your brother and his family, for that matter, the gift you've given to this whole family."

"Gift?" Hoss was confused and his face showed it as puzzled lines appeared across his furrowed brows. He hadn't given any of them a gift or, at least, he didn't think he had. "What are ya talkin' 'bout? What gift?"

Ben smiled and answered, "Hope son, you gave us hope. After Tabitha's accident it was so easy to feel sorry for her. I hate to admit this, but if you hadn't stepped in and intervened, she would simply exist in darkness feeling nothing but pity for herself. I mean, as well intentioned as we'd have been, I'm afraid we'd have crippled her with our concern. The adjustment has been, and will be, hard enough without us crippling her with that concern."

Hoss looked at his father, who had yet to be told he would soon be a grandfather again, and informed him of the fact. "It's what we've wanted for years and now," He shook his head, "on one hand I'm thrilled and on the other," he shook his head, "I'm scared to death. Don't make no sense."

Ben, who was beaming at the news, slapped his son on the back and congratulated him and then said, "It makes a whole lot of sense. You did great with Tabitha, and you're great with the rest of the children. You'll be fine." Ben assured him before excusing himself saying that, after he got some paperwork done, they should get Little Joe and go fishing…saying he was sure Mary and Alice would understand.

Hoss merely nodded and continued standing on the porch as his father disappeared into the house. Hoss couldn't help but smile just a little. He had returned to the Ponderosa a stranger and now, even though many of his memories were still lost to him, he and his wife were a part of the family he'd lost so many years ago.

**A/N As far as I'm concerned, there is a huge opening for a sequel. I sincerely hope to do that sequel when I get time. **


End file.
